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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25146760">i've lost you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Break Up, Canon-Typical Violence, Chapter 130, Depressed Eren Yeager, M/M, Sort Of, Violence, spoiler - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:54:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>960</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25146760</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>little piece based around chapter 130. </p>
<p>or </p>
<p>Levi finds Eren chopping his limbs</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi &amp; Eren Yeager, Levi/Eren Yeager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>98</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i've lost you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Levi was walking in the headquarters when he heard sounds coming from the equipment room, alarmed he silently got closer to the door, it was towards the end of the corridor. As he kept going towards the door he heard the sounds getting louder and louder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi had one hand on a knife he always kept on his pocket, a gift from Eren for his birthday last year after Levi told him about his past and a pocket knife he used to have with him constantly until Erwin caught him and threw it away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The grip on the knife was getting tighter as Levi approached the room, slowly and steadily he decided to open the door, the muffled sounds wouldn’t stop as he got closer and to the source. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he opened the door, Levi was ready to attack but shock spread over his face. He couldn’t move anymore. The knife fell from his hand and ended in a pool of blood, that blood was spreading everywhere. The source of blood was staring right at him, eyes filled with pain and rage. Not a single tear was coming out them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘...I….’ Levi tried to speak, he was too blindfolded to put words together, he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>believe what he had in front of him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren was there, cutting off his leg with a knife, some napkins in his mouth so he couldn’t scream and muffle the sound. He was now staring intensely at Levi without remorse nor shock in his face. As if what he was doing was </span>
  <em>
    <span>completely normal</span>
  </em>
  <span> and Levi was the one out of line between the two. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren took the knife out of his leg, still while looking at Levi in the eyes and said ‘What are you doing here?’ his voice didn’t show any pain nor shock, </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing at all. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi couldn’t wrap his head around what he had before his eyes. Why was Eren talking to him like that?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi and Eren had a special relationship, they started dating after Annie was captured. Both of them didn’t expect to end up together, their love was definitely stronger. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Many things didn’t go accordingly during their relationship but they always managed to overcome them all. Sometimes Eren would get insecure, think he was worth it and Levi would remind him </span>
  <em>
    <span>why </span>
  </em>
  <span>he fell in love with him in the first place. Sometimes Levi thought it was all useless and even receiving love wasn’t enough for him to keep on fighting and living. They would always console each others at the end of the day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some years ago, Eren changed. Something snapped inside of him, distancing himself further and further from his friends and </span>
  <em>
    <span>Levi. </span>
  </em>
  <span>They used to tell each other’s everything, Eren would always go the Levi’s room in the middle of the night, talking about his worries, dreams. His mother. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They would sleep in each others arms and those were the days Levi would sleep peacefully. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi too, shared everything with Eren. He was the first person Levi talked about his past, his childhood. He told him about his mother, about Kenny. Eren was there to support him when Kenny died and Levi found out he was an Ackerman. There was no day Levi didn’t feel blessed to have him around. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But things weren’t the same anymore, those eyes full of hope were now completely empty. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi would compare Eren’s eyes to the ocean, now he felt they were dry and deprived of what he loved the most. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had no idea if Eren saw him as his other half or not. Sometimes he would visit Levi’s room and hug each others while sleeping, just like before. Other times, </span>
  <em>
    <span>most of them</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Eren wouldn’t even look at him in the eyes. That hurt him deeply, Eren was the first and only person he has ever loved that deeply. He sees him drifting away from Levi, having no power to help him out. He used to know him so well and now he felt like Eren locked his heart away from everyone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A sound snapped Levi out of his thoughts, he focused his eyes to notice Eren went back to cut his leg. Horrified, Levi took the knife from him and tossed it away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Give it back to me.’ said Eren with a dull voice. He wouldn’t look at him in the eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was shocked, completely and utterly shocked. He had lost Eren forever and that was the last demonstration of it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What are you doing? Are you insane?’ he said grabbing Eren by the collar, trying to make him look at Levi. Needless to say, it was useless. He still wouldn’t look at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Part of Levi thought it was better this way, looking at those empty eyes would hurt more than anything else. Oh what he would give to have those eyes full of love and passion back into his life, looking at </span>
  <em>
    <span>him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You want to punch me? Make it quick.’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What are you even saying! I want you to tell me what is going on here.’ now Levi was furious, how could he possibly think he could have punched him? He hasn’t hurt Eren since that day at the trial. He was hurt. Levi left the grip on the collar and moved from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi was tired, </span>
  <em>
    <span>too tired</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Eren wouldn’t answer, wouldn’t look at him. Wouldn’t talk to him. He had enough.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before opening the door and leaving, he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out of it. It was all useless. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He left. If he turned around in that moment he would have noticed a tear leaving Eren’s eye. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next day, Levi found a letter with Eren’s plan. He damned himself for not stopping him. </span>
</p>
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